So, now that you know the why behind Dawning Grace, you may have some questions. I welcome questions and hope you will ask lots, but until you do, let me give you a bit more background of what lead me here.
Divorce…
So, divorce is a little like sliding through poo. Not the prettiest description, but accurate. Let me give you the back story.
Early One Morning…
At perhaps the darkest point through the divorce process, one of my pups had an accident in the house during the night. Not realizing this, I got up early and, without turning on a light, walked into the living room…actually, I slid into it. After flailing about trying not to fall into the long stretch of stinkiness, I grabbed onto the back of the couch and managed to stop moving forward. Imagine standing in the dark with your feet covered with poo asking, “so now what?!” At that moment, I had to make a decision. I could stand there covered in the mess someone else made, bemoaning the unfairness of it all, or I could ask for help. In the case of the untimely slide through poo, my daughter heard my scream, and once she saw what I was standing in brought towels and soap to help me clean up. Thank goodness she was there!
Application…
Later that day, after cleaning up the mess and making sure my pup was okay, the thought hit me that my encounter with poo was similar to what I was experiencing through the divorce process.
First: I didn’t expect a stinky slide when I woke up that morning.
Nor after almost 30 years did I imagine my marriage ending in divorce. Yes, we had faced many severe problems over the years, but I thought we would be able to work through them as before. Only, we hadn’t really dealt with the root issues that caused the problems to begin with. We both carried deep wounds into our marriage-like most couples-only instead of facing the intense work needed to bring healing, we tried the band-aid approach. We even put a little anti-bacterial ointment on it, thinking that would kill the infection, but it only delayed the inevitable.
Second: I didn’t want poo covering my feet that morning.
Nor did I want a divorce; however, sometimes it’s necessary. Yes, God hates divorce. I do too! The pain it brings is unfathomable. Not just to the spouses, but to children and other family members and friends. The very fabric of our lives was shredded. I never wanted this for us and fought against it, yet in the end, after months of seeking wise counsel, extended prayer, and crying out to the Lord, knew it had to be. Why? (I don’t want to spend too much time in this post detailing the reasons, as it will come in later posts.) However, after intensely studying Hosea and other pertinent Scripture, I understood that sometimes separation has to occur so God can pierce through hearts that are hardened by deep-seated sin.
Pain…
C. S. Lewis says, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. We are most keenly aware of God’s character in our suffering. It is when our self-sufficiency is peeled away that we see how weak we really are.”
Lastly: The cleanup process isn’t fun
Yep, cleaning the mess my pup made took time and didn’t smell good, but it had to be done.
The decision to divorce is never to be taken lightly; however, when it is necessary (the Bible has very clear guidelines), it can be navigated with grace and dignity. There isn’t a magic eraser or sweet-smelling sanitizer that helps ease the pain, but there is grace, hope, and the steadfast love of the Lord.
Grace…
God’s grace runs deep. He understands how painful divorce is. He has endured it in a way we never will. The Lord knows the gut-wrenching, agonizing, numbing pain divorce brings. He offers grace that binds the wounds and restores hope.
The days following my slide through poo–the real one and the divorce– have been a rollercoaster of emotions. However, I consistently seek the Lord by spending time in the Word and fellowship with sisters who encourage and admonish me. Yep, there are days I don’t want to read the Bible. Days I’d rather stay in bed and binge-watch my favorite shows. However, I know that choice will not bring lasting relief from the pain nor help me walk forward on the path God has planned. Each day I have an opportunity to trust God and His plan for my life or believe the lie that nothing good can come from the pain of divorce. Today, I choose to believe God’s Word, that offers us this encouragement. “..fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith, who for the joy set before HIm endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2 NASB)
Consider our Savior, who endured the pain of rejection yet chose the joy of what was to come, sitting at His Father’s side. Dear Friend, consider what God is doing behind the scenes in your life, knowing that He will provide all you need to persevere, even if you are sliding through poo.
What Now…
I encourage you to go to the Word and read the book of Jeremiah. It’s a true story of God crying out to His beloved people, calling them to return from their adulterous relationships. In it, we see His offer of grace when repentance is real and hope for the one who is betrayed.
I invite you to join me in the study of this book through the first Bible Study I wrote, A Heart Laid Bare. Together we will walk through the process of laying our hearts bare before the One who knows us better than we know ourselves.